Fw: Fwd: FW: shopping at Wal-mart - Inbox - Yahoo! Mail

THIS IS VERY FUNNY
J>
>
>
>
>
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to
Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and
preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like
most women - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the
following letter from the local Wal-Mart:

Dear Mrs. Samsel,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been
forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against
Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. Jan 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
carts when they weren't looking.

2. Feb 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Feb 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
women's restroom.

4. Feb 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,
 'Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away.'

5. Mar 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on
layaway.

6. Mar 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Mar 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets
from the bedding department.

8. Mar 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying
and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Apr 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror
while he picked his nose.

10. Apr 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the
clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. May 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. May 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by
using different sizes of funnels.

13. May 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!

14. May 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed
a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!

And last, but not least.

15. May 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and
then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

Fw: Fwd: FW: shopping at Wal-mart - Inbox - Yahoo! Mail

Blogged with the Flock Browser