Fw: TWENTY NINE LINES to make you smile! - Inbox - Yahoo! Mail

Subject: TWENTY NINE LINES to make you smile!

 

1..  My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I  didn't.
2..  I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of  it.
3.. Some  people are alive only because it's illegal to kill  them.
4.. I  used to have a handle on life, but it  broke.
5..  Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6.. You're  just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
7.. Beauty  is in the eye of the beer holder.
8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9.. I'm  not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10... Out  of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11.. NyQuil,  the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13.. The  gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14.. Consciousness:  That annoying time between naps.
15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16.. Being  'over the hill' is much better than being under  it!
17.. Wrinkled  Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew  up.
18.. Procrastinate Now!
19.. I  Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With  That?
20.. A  hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21.. A  journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash  advance.
22..  Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23..They  call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already  taken.
24..  He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless  DEAD.
25.. A  picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three Thousand  times the memory.
26..  Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime  commitment for a pig.
27.. The  trouble with life is there's no background  music.
28.. The  original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
29.. I  smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

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