Serenity

SERENITY


Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,
'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied.
'Two years older than me'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.
She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?










Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
'And what do you think is the best thing
about being 104?' the reporter asked.
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'







The nice thing about being senile is
you can hide your own Easter eggs.







I've sure gotten old!
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes
I'm half blind,
can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
take 40 different medications that
make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation;
hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.
Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,
I still have my driver's license.








I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
so I got my doctor's permission to
join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But,
by the time I got my leotards on,
the class was over.







An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and
told her preacher she had two final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated, and second,
she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.
'Wal-Mart?' the preacher exclaimed.
'Why Wal-Mart?'
'Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week'







My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.







Know how to prevent sagging?
Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.







It's scary when you start making the same noises
as your coffee maker.







These days about half the stuff
in my shopping cart says,
'For fast relief.'









THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
the eyesight to tell the difference.






Now, I think you're supposed to share this with 5 or 6, maybe 10 others. Oh heck, give it to a bunch of your friends if you can remember who they are!

Always Remember This:
You don't stop laughing because you grow old,
You grow old because you stop laughing

Ignorance

I am shocked and disgusted at all the ignorance and the immaturity that is left in this world today. I have made it a point to apologize for what someone else placed on this blog (that has a password change and a no co writer change.) I have also deleted the thing that caused all the trouble. I am also checking on the past posts to removed such things. I missed this immature thing due to the fact that I have more important things in my life to take care of than something as trivial as a online blog.

To the ones who has NICELY pointed out the post, thank you. You know me well enough to know that I do not care who our president is just as long as he does as better job that Bush. Even thought I really wanted a woman in the house, I will take what ever I can get as long as it is not BUSH or anyone like him! To the ones who not so nicely pointed this out to me, personally attacked me and miss judged me I would also like to say thank you. I really don't give a shit if you think I am a obese swine, because I know I am not. My own opinion is what matters, not what you think of me.

Now to close this out, if there is anything else I can do for you, please write to me and let me know. Rudeness will be ignored. Now please have a nice fucking day and if this is not good enough for you then you can go fuck yourselves.

I want to take a moment to let everyone know that I had a co writer on this blog but since some things that should not of been posted was posted I have removed said person and so it is now just me. I am also going to spend the next few days going back over said blog posts to make sure nothing else like that has been entered. That is disgraceful and shameful and should of never of been placed here. So if anyone was offended I apologies and steps are being taken to correct this mistake.

thank you for your time and understanding.
Ashlie